November 4, 2016 Marty

Max Cameron’s post to FetLife 4-11-2016

This statement regards the Seattle Relationship Anarchy (RA) Ethics Committee (EC) intervention process with kink, BDSM, and bondage educator Max Cameron. The RA Ethics Committee intervention with Max is summarized and outlined here. Following is the transcribed content of the 04-11-2016 post on FetLife acknowledging reports of consent violation by Max. 1

Max Cameron 2 to FetLife 4-11-2016

https://fetlife.com/users/72176/posts/3689611

All relationships, and especially BDSM relationships, are based on mutual trust. It’s a profoundly vulnerable place for both partners. And as most folks in our community know, I’ve spent the past two and a half decades learning and teaching about this trust, how to play safely, and how to negotiate and communicate. In both my professional and personal lives, I believe that consent, trust, and openness are the backbone of not just our ability to connect, but of our entire community and what it stands for.

I’ve done scenes with a lot of people over the last 25 years, and I’ve done hundreds of workshop demos. It is my belief that I have acted ethically in all of these interactions.

I’ve recently been made aware of allegations that I violated the consent of two or more individuals within the scope of private play. These individuals have shared their stories with three local organizations: Relationship Anarchy Seattle (“RA”), Suspended Animation, and the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture. I have told all three organizations that I am willing to work through them, and/or with the parties directly involved, to understand and address their concerns in an open, honest dialogue.

I’ve reviewed all of my communications with the two people I know about and have been unable to find any indication that they were in any way unhappy with our interactions.

If I misread the situation and harmed them in ways I was unaware of, I am deeply sorry and will do my best to make amends and to learn whatever I need to learn.

To put it clearly: If I was a party to any consent injury I want to apologize, I want to repair that damage in whatever way I can, and I am eager to learn and grow from this experience.

It is my intention to address these allegations transparently, from a place of goodwill, and with integrity. As I work through this, I will do my best to keep you abreast of the situation, my attempts to respond to these allegations in ethical, compassionate ways, and the larger issues around how we handle allegations like these in the communities we inhabit and hold dear.

I am engaged with RA’s new Ethics Committee, and am committed to participating in their process and to helping them develop and refine the policies for their community. I have asked RA to facilitate a mediated discussion with these individuals to work towards healing and resolution.

There are no easy answers here. I am a fallible human. I have my own biases. In working with other humans I recognize that their biases will affect any process. My objectives for this process are:

  • Healing and reconciliation for all parties involved
  • Thoughtful self-reflection and growth
  • Self-care for myself, my partners, my family, and my friends
  • Contributing to the important discussions our communities are having about consent, personal responsibility, and risk awareness as we look for ways to handle these situations effectively and compassionately.

I am always committed to self-improvement and to honoring consent. This is one of the reasons I ask partners for follow up after each scene. Improvement requires feedback, and it’s my hope to solicit more feedback that is specific and actionable so I can absorb and act on it.

If I have taught, interacted with or played with you, I invite to send feedback on my behavior or your concerns about consent in general. Please contact me via email, as I find FetLife messages difficult to track and manage.

If you’re not comfortable contacting me directly, B[redacted] 3 has agreed to accept and collate your comments and to keep them anonymous and non-identifiable. B[redacted] has been a thoughtful member of Seattle’s kink and queer communities for many years, and will be presenting at the NCSF Consent Summit on April 23rd.

B[redacted] prefers to be contacted via email at [redacted]. 4 B[redacted] and I are meeting Thursday to work out the details of this process, and we are absolutely committed to honoring your needs around confidentiality / anonymity.

I do know that many conversations about this have already taken place without me, both in private and in organizational settings. Issues of safety and consent are too important to be relegated to closed-door discussions, gossip, and potential misinformation, especially when they involve our community’s key organizations.

That’s why I’m releasing this statement. Even though I am specifically implicated, our entire community deserves transparent communication about the safety and care of its members, and a clear and well-understood approach to addressing consent issues for the future.

In the interim I am going to do what I have always done: operate with integrity and goodwill, with good intent, and with a passionate desire to learn.

Return to the RA Ethics Committee Intervention with Max Cameron Summary and Timeline.

 

Endnotes:

  1. On 11/5/2016, the RA EC intervention group emailed Max to inform him that our summary statement would soon be posted. Max responded on 11/7/2016. In his response, Max expressed concern that Marty had disclosed this process to the community at the April discussion events. His response also included the following:

    “let me be explicit about this: you do not have my consent to name me in any statement you produce and/or publish, or to provide any details which could be used to identify me.  I will view this as a profound ethical breach.”

    After consideration, the EC intervention group chose to identify Max in our summary statement and timeline. Our reasons for that decision are clarified in our response, posted here so that our community may reflect back to us and hold us accountable for our actions.

  2. Even in sex-positive and kink-positive circles, there are multiple people named “Max Cameron”. To avoid confusion, rumors, and misidentification, we want to clarify that the Max Cameron involved in our process is the following:

  3. This person’s identifiable information will not be shared here without their explicit consent.
  4. This person’s contact information will not be shared without their explicit consent.