In a culture that limits the definition of relationship, we seek to expand it. We value the vast dynamic diversity that exists in the ways we approach and shape our relationships. The path is wide.
Empathy & Compassion We treat each other with care and respect in ways that stretch beyond tolerance. We seek to erode and dispel shame in the space where we celebrate, process, and support each other’s dazzlingly different choices, experiences, histories, perspectives, explorations, difficulties and triumphs, regardless of whether they are congruent or divergent from our own. We honor each individual’s expression of identity; including and not limited to relationship structure, spiritual practices, sexual identity, gender identity, culture, race, ethnicity, age, physical ability, emotional ability, mental health, class, or musical preference. We strive to dissolve preconceived ideas, assumptions, and judgment of those differences. Nobody’s relationship looks exactly like another’s and we think that’s fucking rad.
Radical Authenticity We give and are given the opportunity to manifest radical authenticity with each other, to go deep with less fear of condemnation for our identity or our choices. We are invested in each other, through mistakes and triumphs.
Social Connectedness We believe in the ineffable magic of showing up; we strive to engage each other in-person. Relationships are an important and powerful vehicle for change. We seek to create and strengthen relationships in a purposeful effort to restore, maintain, and enhance our well-being.
Evolution Through Agency Our most profound resource is the quality of what we offer each other. By showing up and creating space for radical authenticity we manifest the opportunity for individual growth and social change. We strive to cultivate, curate, and apply our knowledge, our skills, and our emotional intelligence towards this end. We are the experts (you, me, all of us).
Do-ocracy & Co-creation We are committed to supporting and empowering individuals to make shit happen as they feel inspired. The ways we participate, give, and contribute make RA thrive as a dynamically different peer-to-peer community. These are acts of love – gifts, time, service. We build a trusting and sustainable community when we recognize, respect, and appreciate what our participants offer.
Safe enough As individuals and a community, we understand that any activity in life, whether climbing a mountain, going to an orgy, having frank discussions about emotionally charged topics, BDSM, or just holding space for each other, involves a degree of physical, psychological, and emotional risk. We know we can’t completely remove all risk. Instead, we are committed to creating “safe enough” environments for ourselves and others to explore and celebrate these experiences.
Consent-centric culture We believe consent is an enthusiastic, voluntary, “Yes!”; it’s neither implied, nor the absence of “No.”. This includes respecting a person’s response even if their response is not what you had hoped for or expected.
Consent can be revoked at any time. We encourage each other to communicate clearly and often about our boundaries and desires, practicing awareness and respect as contexts and situations evolve. We strive to support a culture in which asking for consent is normalized and celebrated.
Creating the circle: thoughts on privacy & disclosure We learn through sharing our authentic stories. We recognize different levels of comfort, different levels of out, and different ideas of privacy. We want you to be your biggest, awesomest self; to engage with an open heart as fearlessly as you can.
Speak authentically of your own personal experience. Leave out the personally identifiable information of others. Seek consent before sharing another’s personal story.
Sex-positive, not sex-focused (except when it is) We share sex-positive values. We strive to co-create consent-centric spaces that are safe enough to discuss and express sexuality with radical authenticity. The intention of each event is made clear and we individually take responsibility for honoring that intention.
Purpose of the Code of Ethics
- Articulates the core values to which Relationship Anarchy aspires.
- Summarizes the broad ethical principles that reflect our values, and establishes a set of specific ethical standards that guide us.
- Provides ethical standards to which we hold ourselves (and others) accountable.
- Socializes the community to our mission, values, ethical principles, and standards.
The Code of Ethics is a set of values, principles, and standards that guide our decision making and our conduct. It does not provide a set of rules that prescribe how we should act in all situations. Neither does the code specify which values are the most important and ought to outweigh others in instances when they conflict. Reasonable differences of opinion can and do exist among individuals. Specific application must take into account the context in which it is being considered.
Revising the Code of Ethics
The Relationship Anarchy Code of Ethics is a living document that evolves to better reflect the standards, principles, and ethics of our community. Members of the community may at any time propose revisions by bringing a revised copy of the document to an Ethics Committee meeting. Those in attendance shall discuss the suggested revisions, consider how the revisions reflect Relationship Anarchy’s values, principles, or standards, and decide whether or not to adopt the revisions. Non-substantive revisions (format, verbiage, etc.) are unlikely to be adopted.
The community at large shall annually review our Code of Ethics at our Town Hall discussion. In this discussion, the community will consider:
- Are we still aligned with this document?
- Do we as a community need to realign ourselves to our code?
- Do we need to realign this document with our evolving values?