So, you’ve heard or read about Relationship Anarchy (RA) as a philosophy describing ways to shape your relationships. It’s also a tightly-knit community in the Seattle area.

The idea for the group came about in July 2012 when three metamours sat on a grassy hill discussing the ways we each shape our polyamorous relationships. As we talked, we each described something we felt was missing – a way to connect people within our existing community, a recurring event where we could talk openly about our relationships and learn from each other, a supportive space where we could help each other through the challenges inherent to non-traditional practices.

We held our first discussion event in October 2012. Each event that followed brought a few more attendees. Discussions typically focused on aspects of ethical non-monogamy, but we encouraged any of our friends who might want to talk about their relationships to attend.

We knew we needed to underscore the importance of participating in person. We knew there was something powerful in having these vulnerable conversations openly in each other’s presence. We knew we needed a space that was safe enough for all of us to openly be our most authentic selves. That’s why we’re regionally focused. It’s why we don’t have a public forum online and why we’re not a public group. Most of our events are held in our homes. Many people in our community aren’t publicly out about certain aspects of their relationships. And all of us have found it invaluable to share a space where we can be our messy, authentic, imperfect, brilliant, beautiful selves.

So, then, why do we call ourselves relationship anarchy?